“Where did I make the mistake of not being able to grow up?” Is a sentence I hear countless times in my office when the parents of children who have businesses together call me. I am talking about Family Businesses, which officially does not have this status in our country, although 70% of companies could be called so.
Family businesses often need a psychotherapist more than an economist or a
lawyer to solve various problems.
After all, companies are first and foremost emotionally intertwined, not only procedurally, but they depend above all on a source of income! That is why they are all in a convulsion, so that there is nothing bad, but at the same time this convulsion causes them various pains, traumas, communication problems…
So last Saturday evening I received a phone call asking if family members could come for counseling despite the weekend. But in the end only Dad answered!
He was very tired because he was “on fire” all day and everyone around him was smart. I asked him if this was her mind trying to take advantage of that. He answered no, because they are not able to do anything in this way.
Let us try their ability, I answered.
So we moved the “operation” to their company and I came to the company with him on Monday morning and we started the morning meeting.
He no longer had the strength to portray the situation, so I myself illustrated an even more dramatic affair, in the sense that his life was coming to an end.
Everyone started screaming, wanting to know what was going on.
I explained that everything depends on the Father and that the time has come for the responsibility to be shared equally. The words… ata were heard, but you know that I always do what you tell me, and ata we are here all day… ata I love you. Then father just said: “I know that you do everything, but just do what I give you to do, you do not see anything more than that. It has to be organized in such a way that everyone is responsible for their own part and we are all working to
reproduce I am aware that before I was not able to turn you in or to educate you in independence, but now the situation is such that my body cannot handle it anymore and we will just have to change things overnight, or I will sell everything together
“They did not flinch that his body cannot do that, they flinched at the word “sold”!
At that moment the father thought about it, but continued with the words: “We only have one week left. To make the company independent of me. By Wednesday, everyone who wants to be co-owner and run the company should prepare the organization and strategy of the company and then present it to everyone We will have a strategic day on Wednesday and make joint decisions.”
“On Wednesday everyone gathered in a large meeting room where three children and other family members and relatives presented their views and plans. In the end, the youngest, 22 years old, arrived.”
»I apologize to the brothers and sisters and other relatives! I have been
following the company since its birth, and all we really want is money, but we never really ask ourselves how we get money. When Ateja is gone, there is no more money. We have not learned how to make money, we have only learned how to spend it. And all I have heard about you is really the story of how you are going to spend money… more money on marketing, on new machines, on new
people… I know I am not ready to run a business yet, but I see where the money is going and where we need to go if we want to survive in the long run!«
Everyone was speechless, and Daddy finally laughed. The “little one” presented his detailed steps and said he could start immediately. However, he stressed that he did not want to have anything, but that he would buy back shares in the company, by how much the company would save and thus increase profits.
Suddenly everyone answered…Then father stood up and said: »I fully accept the strategy. Whoever is willing to go this way will also become co-owner of the company and later also manager, if all owners agree.«
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The next day, an evaluation of the company, plans for computerization… …mainly the transfer of individual tasks and responsibilities, which will take another 3 months.
Today, however, we had lunch and he said that there is a completely different energy in the company and that he finally feels relieved, even if he will stay in the company for 5 years, he knows that there has finally been a shift
where he will not take a step back at the same time. but all the tests so far have been too “lukewarm”!
Thanks again for these conversations, we families really have to learn to communicate and especially to put personal relationships first and to separate this very much from business.
You can read more about family businesses in the book IN THE PARENTS ‘SHOES
Dynamic Leadership model
The purpose of the book is to present a dynamic leadership model, which in more than a hundred cases has proven to be a great way to get out of business and personal crisis and how to overcome difficulties without even going into crisis.