Do not dream your life, live your dreams and How to win a woman? are the titles of two of the eight books signed by Milan Krajnc Pavlica, a 33-year-old personal and business consultant.
It helps people make changes in their business and personal lives by removing their psychological and energy blockages. He solves those who fail with psychotherapy with the help of energies such as reiki and theta healing. He teaches directors to be a director, teaches men to be men. It teaches people to set goals and helps them live what they sincerely want to be in their heart. We talked to him about successful women and men.
How do men accept more successful, more insightful, more ambitious, and more exposed women? Are these in the often heard stereotype of “ambitious bitches” or women who know how to reach the goal or the realization of their dreams?
It very much depends on each man individually. A man who has low self-esteem and has never grown into a man takes a more successful woman as a competition or so as you yourself said. I like very ambitious women the most, because in a way I get motivation myself. It is good for women to come to the fore, but it is bad for those men who resist it, who are not willing to take steps forward on their own or do not dare to admit that women are better in all respects.
What does a man think when a woman openly and enthusiastically praises him for being attractive, for smelling nice, or for being nicely dressed? To conquer it or take it just as a compliment?
Rare Slovenian men are at such a level that when they receive a compliment, they would be able to distinguish what is just a woman’s praise and what is flirtation. Most men are convinced that women conquer them, and then they themselves approach them in this way or praise them with the intention of conquering them for adventure. However, the level of female maturity in Slovenia in the field of emotional expression is quite high, which means that women know how to give praise in various ways and at the same time maintain a decent distance.
What does a beautiful woman look like in a man’s eyes and what is an attractive woman like?
To me, all women who are honest and orderly are beautiful. Very attractive women to me, however, are those who are ambitious and are not intimidated by anything or are even feared by other men. The biggest mistake is when a woman thinks about what she should change about herself to make a man like her.
In what ways are women in leadership positions better than their male counterparts?
Women are better at organizing, taking responsibility, and connecting, and worse at delegating tasks. Their downside is also that they neglect themselves. Slovenia currently needs female leadership. Namely, we are in a phase when society is cleaning up, tidying up and arranging itself in some way so that it can achieve a new freshness. And above all, we need good organizers. These are women.
What led to this?
The answer is in history. After World War II, men thought they had saved the country and rewarded themselves with leadership positions, taking a step back. The women were left with the support of three corners of the house and a fourth on top. They had to be extremely well organized, they had to handle expenses carefully, they took care of a tidy home and family. Where the men left most of the money in the inn, they took care of the money. This trait has been passed down through two generations to girls and women, who today occupy leading positions in the economy and political life. In fact, we men are the ones who forced women to become what they are.
In Finland, for example, 60 percent of women hold government positions, while in Slovenia only 11 percent. According to Eurostat data for 2006, only a third of women are still on company boards. How do you comment on that?
On the one hand, this is inhibited by men, and on the other hand, women’s self-esteem is still too low in some cases. Women should work harder on self-esteem. Given that these things are already changing, sooner or later this ratio will be 50 to 50 and then Slovenia will be completely balanced. Of course, men and women in leadership positions must also have male and female energy, which means that men will be men and women will be women. What bothers me most about Slovenian women is that once they take the lead, they do not live completely wholeheartedly. In a way, they take on the role of mother. They want to take care of the team, the partner, the children, they look at everything as if it were their children. In doing so, they forget about themselves. Above all, I want Slovenian women to live their dreams more intensively.
How is it known in the current generation of children that their mothers are more busy, that they want to be successful in business, good mothers and at the same time good partners?
Children are becoming more independent. They grow up very quickly. They are becoming very open and responsible.
Men also have feminine energy in them. How is it reflected?
Above all, a man must be a much more stable personality than a woman because he is a pillar of the family. This does not mean, however, that it is the man who decides who will do what, how much money someone will bring home to set the rules. The point is that when there is a crisis in the family or in the community, a woman can rely on someone. The man should show understanding, heart, he must recognize what the woman needs at that moment. But he can only understand this with feminine energy.
Yet a crisis often ends in an argument. Why?
Men make the biggest mistake when, when you lose the ground under your feet, you are in a bad mood, pushy, you have a headache, we accept your game, when you play a quarrel that you receive attention. A man should then see in his woman the most beautiful flower and so he should see her just always, no matter what verbal or non-verbal communication a woman uses at that time. Then it is best to calm her down with a word or a hug. When a man does this a few times, anger, rage, sadness, everything that is then in the woman, disappears. But as long as we men get involved in women’s games, so long will women be unhappy.
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How does a woman recognize a balanced man, that is, a man with the right amount of female energy?
Such a man has a clear goal. He does not deviate from his principles, but at the same time he is willing to admit his mistakes. And he talks about his emotions. A man needs to be confident. If his partner is ambitious, he must be very self-confident and have a high self-esteem. Which does not mean that he must be successful in business. If a woman is successful in business on her own, she does not necessarily want a successful business man with her. Above all, he wants a stable man. That when she comes home tired, she can squeeze in to someone and be there just for her.
What should a woman do when her man is in need?
At that moment, the man also needs a shoulder on which to cry, and above all, someone to listen to him. He doesn’t need someone to teach him how to act differently. All he needs then is that there is someone out there who listens to him completely without criticism.
Who is usually with spouses who seek your advice to take the initiative to visit a counseling center? Are these more often women or men?
At a stage when the marriage is not yet about to break up, but is at the beginning of a crisis, women usually suggest visiting a counseling center because they want change, they want to save the marriage. But when a marriage gets to a stage where it’s already coming to an end, men usually call for help. But then the woman is already determined to go. Men, as with most things, solve everything at the last minute, when it is often too late. Therefore, I often advise against acting by force or subordinating a woman to a man. If the thing is just before the end, let it end and rather start anew. Let your partners take a break. If they are destined to be together in the future, they can begin to conquer again and the relationship begins on new foundations. After all, we can marry the same partner several times if we want to.
What should a partner never give up?
The partner should never give up on himself, his personal and intimate desires. You must not subordinate yourself to another, you must not subordinate yourself to children or the company. In certain cases, they may agree to compromise, but they must never cross the border. Where this limit is, everyone feels within themselves. But if one does not even know where the boundaries are, one must first know oneself.
Humans are not monogamous creatures… What do you advise on love adventures?
When couples come to me for marriage counseling, we never set a goal to save the marriage at any cost. We always strive to make every individual happy. But if the couple stays together, it’s even better. This is also my starting point: that everyone is satisfied. If it is only a sexual adventure, it is the will and freedom of an individual who can do whatever he wants with himself and his body, provided, of course, that he does not endanger the freedom and health of his partner. When people get married, the marriage certificate should not be valid indefinitely, but maybe only for ten years and then the spouse would renew the vow. Why? When we get married, we stop conquering because everything seems self-evident to us. If we forget our partner and are not successful enough in winning, then it will no longer be necessary for us to go to bed together in the evening, even if we wake up together in the morning. Everyone is a completely free being and can do whatever he wants.
And if we newly fall in love?
People fall in love many times in their lives. If we know how to fall in love with the same person, it only contributes to a common relationship, to marriage. However, we must never suppress the love that is born anew outside the already existing relationship, we must experience it in some way.
Author of the article: Milan Krajnc, pedagogue, entrepreneur & crisis manager
I teach you to look “at yourself” as a third person. For more information or an introductory meeting, write to me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Dunamic Leadership Model
The purpose of the book is to present a dynamic leadership model, which in more than a hundred cases has proven to be a great way to get out of business and personal crisis and how to overcome difficulties without even going into crisis.